So, I have been spending quite a bit of time at the theater lately. In the past few days I have seen, Two Weeks Notice, Treasure Planet, Adaptation, and Two Towers again. I am trying hard to keep up with writing my movie reviews, but not that it matters too much right now because I can't ftp to the site to upload them. Gotta get Panos to fix that.

Its strange how a couple movies just sucks the time out of each day. I haven't been doing too much lately, relaxing a bit, but its about time to get back to working more on the site. I have been working on coloring the graphic I am going to use for the front page and its coming along pretty well. Its slow work, but I'm getting there. Once thats all set then it will be time for a change on the site.

Anyhow, that's it for now.

-- AG

Ok, god fucking damn it when the lame things just won't die. My sister rents a dvd the other day, Unfaithful, and we pop it in and start it up and the first screen in the movie is "this film has been altered to fit this tv ..." and I almost flipped a nut. FFFFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!

Why in god's name would idiots want the fucking pan & scan version of a film? The only answer can possibly be because they are ignorant and don't know that they have a hacked up version of the film. Ok, ignorance is acceptable, lame, but acceptable. What I am totally unwilling to forgive is that fact that these movie companies are forcing pan & scan onto dvds for the sole reason of making more money, and with blatent disregard for their films. In fact, I am really at a loss as to how pan & scan even started, but thats a separate rant. Why do these companies have to continue to confuse consumers into buying a film that they don't even want. Tvs are going to widescreen, digital tv will be widescreen, film is already widescreen, WE DON'T NEED A SINGLE FUCKING FULL FRAME ANYTHING!!!!

Gawd what I wouldn't give to strangle the people who authorized these dvds with my bare hands. This is one of those times where I realize exaclty how degenerative of a species we really are because so many fucking assholes in the world are willing to fuck over everyone for a little bit of god damn money. Sure, this is an example that has little ramifications on anything, but the example serves. Humans are just too prone to fucking each other over to really make real progress in this world.

Think about it. If we really wanted to achieve a million times more than we do, then we would, but we really don't, we'd rather just bite and gnaw at each others' heels trying to get the freshest cut of meat. I believe that for that reason among many our species will fail miserably in this world and our extinction is eminent. I wish for nothing more in my life than to laugh at all the fucking idiots too dense to realize their faults. Fuck, I hate it here.

-- AG

Well, its technically Christmas now, so "Merry Christmas Everyone" :)

If this holiday really has one redeaming aspect it's that it really does bring people together. Gifts aside, it is truely fun to get together with the family and enjoy some good dinners together and some time when everyone just forgets about jobs and appointments and instead focuses on each other. I think we can all benefit from some good quality time together with our good friends and family.

I wish I could be there in person to say Merry Christmas to all my good friends, but this will have to suffice.

Wishing everyone the best,

-- AG

Well, its been a bit strange preparing for Christmas this year. I really haven't done much in the way of gifts, but everyone seems to be saying "Oh, I don't want anything." So I say, "fine, you get nothing then :p" hehe. But really I am trying to change my gifts from unneccessary and expensive gifts to something more simple and heartfelt. I think I am doing pretty well with it. I did get actual stuff for my friends, but it is good stuff that I really want people to have, not just the same old lameness. And for my parents I have 1 simple thing. My sister and I will be working together to do portraits of each other on a single drawing, then getting finishing it up together and framing it. Unfortunately, inspiration hit a bit late and we won't have it for Christmas Day, but I say that this is better, cuz now once the holidy of "mass consumption" is over my sister and I will find the time to get together and put our time in a real gift.

Item 2 is the little video game that I am working on with my friend Jason and his brother. Started in a kind of strange way, we were playing this little nothing game of archaic 2D volleyball that is simiple as can be, then we decided to try changing it to be basketball. We took the code, began changing and enhancing it, and by now we are basically re-writing everything. Its not much of a game, a simple Java Applet with 2 semi-circle characters, a ball, and 2 hoops, but its a start. We just kind of got the idea and started right away, worked 'til about 5 am the first day, and now we actually got something going. Anyway, that has been a black hole for my time the past couple nights, and now Christmas is upon us.

Games & Gifts at Christmas time.

-- AG

Panos said he was going to write a paper that explained the world and this intrigues me. I find this interesting because I wonder what relevance his final paper could have to anyone else but himself. No, not because what he writes isn't true, but more because no two people EVER understand the same thing in the same way. I feel this alone is the greatest problem facing the world today, nobody, or at least few, grasp the concept that understanding is not posible for humans, and therefore we are incapable of really achieving what we want.

going to have to continue this one below :)

So why is understanding impossible you would consider? Simple, because the experiences of your lifetime, combined with your unique sequence of DNA and biological composition make you as you are now. Since nobody else in the world could have the exact same composition as you, then you are intrinsically different from everyone else on the planet, you are a LONE you, distinct. And therefore only you can ever feel, think, experience, and understand the way you do.

Example. "2 + 2 = 4", the cliche representing the most simple of mathmatical understanding. Everyone understands that right? Sure they do, but we all understand it differently. A mathmatician may understand it through a concept of matricies and how they combine together. Someone else may be thinking of what you have when you take 2 apples from here and combine it with 2 apples from there. Who knows? The point is that conceptually we cannot understand things the same exact way. When I say "love." Everyone brings forth a different assortment of experiences which become their perception of love, but no two people ever have the same two experiences.

I see this problem constantly, the problem of communication. Is it even possible to convey to someone the experience you have? No matter how hard you try you could never do that, the best you can do is to create an environment where someone MAY have a similar experience, but not the same.

I say it all the time, "I just don't understand ... " It could possibly be my most frequent phrase aside from the jargon of day to day conversation. The fact is that constantly I am plagued with the realization that people just CANNOT understand things as I do, no matter how I try, and to me, that is a very scary thought. But I guess you can't understand.

-- AG

Yup, saw Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers yesterday with Tim and Panos. I am not 100% sure how I really feel about it, but I did my review and I will probably hold on to it until after I see the film a second time this weekend or so. I will be glad when I have a chance to get a good discussion going with Dan about this one, although I fear he loves these films too much to ever criticize them.

I also inked a couple more drawings that were only up as sketches, this should provide a nice chance to work on my coloring skills some more, or should I say to actually develop those skills as they are non-existant right now.

I also happened to watch Vanilla Sky for the second time last night since my sister rented it, and it really brought back to life a discussion I have had with my self many a times. The problem is understanding, why does nobody get it?

This topic is going to get its own entry.

-- AG

Wahoo! Got my first comment ... thanks Vrej :)

Anyways ... my fingers are fucking numb from the cold breeze blowing in through the window about a foot away. But thats not what I wanted to say. Oh yeah, I'm really starting to enjoy the digital aspects of art. I've been playing around with gimp quite a bit lately, and man is it kewl, I am so juiced I probably wouldn't stop, except from the numb fingers thing :/

So, I have a graphic I am planning to use for the main page of the website, but I am still penciling it right now. Once that is done I will start making some more graphic and layout contributions all around. I am also a bit giddy because Two Towers is only about a day away, at least for me, so that is kewl.

Well, time for Bebop.

-- AG

Alright ... time to reflect a minute on Christmas. I see basically no greater irony in the world than the fact that this holiday is purely a reason to consume massive amounts of shit you don't need. The entire holiday is pure propoganda, they hype it up so much and force into your brain the idea that you MUST buy things for people. And this all has something to do with Jesus and God almighty and our faith right? In fact this holiday is the exact opposite, nobody cares about Jesus, they only care about the great new gifts they are supposed to recieve.

And then once you have been snared into their trap you must confront the dilema of gift buying. This brings into question the notion of a gift. Maybe a gift can technically just be giving something to someone, but lets use the connotation. Its showing appreciation by offering some tribute. So there are really 2 factors that go into a gift, there must be the tribute (your present) and there must be some form of appreciation. This is the one that always gets me. Does it really show appreciation to ask someone what they want and then give them that? Not in my bood it doesn't. In fact, I actually dislike it when ppl give me stuff I had to explicitly tell them I wanted. On the other hand, I am extremely touched by gifts that people actually found themselves, regardless of what they are. I recently god a great book about ink drawing from a friend for my birthday, and I was blown away. Not only did this person recognize my interest in ink drawing, but they made the effort to go out in search of a good book on the subject.

Now, talk without meaning is shit, so here's the point. Its Christmas, and while it is rather strange to feel forced into buying gifts for people on this specific day, so chances are you will buy gifts. So lets lay down some rules.

1. Actual Appreciation for the gift reciever is your motivation, search accordingly. don't get crap, think about it.

2. Don't ever get people stuff you asked them about. never, never, never.

3. If you don't really care that much about someone, then don't get them a gift!!! We all know the economy is shitty, so why not save a few bucks?

4. More expensive only means more spoiled. Others may not see it so, but it is generally the truth.

5. Don't think about what THEY would want, think about what YOU want to give them. Who cares if they want it, your are searching for a way to show appreciation.

-- AG

I started another blog a couple days ago, just a little freewriting log so that I have somewhere to just go crazy anytime I want to write something. The neat feature really is that I can use it from any computer on the web, so I don't necessarily have to add to it from home. Anyways ... I plan to use it as often as I can.

Even more exciting is the couple ideas I have for the design of my site. I messed around with a number of ideas this weekend, and I have something that I think will work pretty well. I'm still working on the art work, but it will be coming as soon as I finish the main drawing and ink it. That should give the website some new life.

Also, I have yet another review to catch up on ... Star Trek: Nemesis, which I saw on friday with the guys, was actually pretty good overall. It was a bit mishy-moshy at points, but overall it was good, fun, Star Trek. Review coming when it comes.

I have lapsed into a state where I sit down at my computer constantly, and don't know what to do with it. I check some websites, read the email, etc, but there is very little intrigue to sitting at my computer nowadays. Maybe I just need a new background? Anyways, funny thing these damn computers. The make good tools, but I often sit down in front of it and think, "Do something damnit!" As if my computer should hear my cry and somehow conjure up my every desire. It would be nice. Think on it.

-- AG

I have been a whirlwind of emotions lately. I am in an epic battle to define my life, and while I'd like to think I am doing well my pessimism prevents it. 22, jobless, living at home. wow. Granted, the economy is shit right now, and I am living in the worst possible place for my job market, but still.

Down. I am starting to pity myself. You know something is wrong when you pity yourself. I have many things going for me, yet I feel like I am failing to achieve. Negative thoughts are bad, but that has always been my fate.

Up. While my existence right now may be pitiful, I am trying to embark on new journey's to discover places I have never been before. I am really trying to make myself an artist, at least by hobby, and I am also trying hard to write ... this journal, movie reviews, and a comic. I am also proud of the things I have achieved in the building of our new house. While my contributions have been reasonably small they are nonetheless helpful.

Down. Trying is not doing, and I am constantly questioning my aptitude for writing. I want to write a comic, to tell stories, to express, yet my creativity is not well trained for this kind of venture. I am a technical person and now I am paying the price for that.

Up. I'm only 22 :) I have a long life ahead of me, and this is only the beginning. Plus, I just watched Fellowship of the Ring: Extended Edition with all my good friends last night and it was really great ... both hanging out and the movie. Maybe life is as sweet as we want it to be.

tomorrow will come.

-- AG

So ... I'm feeling pretty good right now. I've been getting a somewhat steady amount of art work done and added to the website, and what's more impressive is that I feel good about that work. Now I just need to get the creative juices totally gushing so that I can do some writing, but I figure one step at a time is enough.

As for this weekend ... I had a good time going over to gun's place Saturday and hanging out with the guys and watching the fights. Its a bummer that after leaving college we are not hanging out all that often even when we live pretty close to each other. But I guess thats just the way things are ... eveyone has their own schedule.

Work on the house is coming along ... slowly. Its fun working with tools and building stuff, but it seems to go too slow for me. That is probably just the silicon valley smog that I breathe everyday clouding up my brain and turning me into a berzerker, fun.

Oh shit ... and I saw Bowling for Columbine finally. Pretty good documentary, although I don't have much to judge on because I haven't seen many documentaries. The film was pretty much what I expected, and it gave out some good information, but in the end I doubt that much will come of it other than talk. I am trying to get my reviews up as soon as possible, but I am already behind. Hopefully the review will come shortly.

Enough for now.

-- AG

You know what I hate about life? time. What an evil invention. There are far too many things to do in life to forced to choose. But oh well, guess thats how it is. Right now I am just trying to keep up with doing this website, doing some art, and reviewing movies. Then I am trying to find time to watch anime, read comics, and everything else, what a mess.

Anyways ... I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend and getting some things done. I just came accross the thought of doing a story about a TCK young man and his experience fitting in ... could be good. Well, hopefully soon I will have some form of comic going.

-- AG

Well, I finally made it out to see the Chamber of Secrets tonight. I was actually pleased with the film ... now if I can just manage to get a review done some time soon.

I feel like this weekend has gone on forever, and I like it :) Its given me a really great chance to just sit back and work on the website, draw, and catch up on some reading. I've also had a good chance to catch up on some sleep, which is important as always, so I feel a bit refreshed and ready to continue working on my projects.

The website got a couple updates today when I opened up the art section with a single drawing, as well as getting the Ararat review up. I really need to get a decent design going, but I feel that content is most important, so it comes first. Anyways ... simple entry.

-- AG